Welcome to Stepford, I mean Geneva

Have you ever been to a place that just feels too clean? A place so perfect that it must be hiding something? If you haven't, then you should go to Geneva.

Nestled among the Swiss Alps next to a sparkling glacial lake, Geneva has some of the best views in the world. I went hiking with my friend who moved here recently and the beauty of our surroundings blew me away. The only difference between hiking in the Alps and hiking in BC's mountains is that at home you have to be alert for bears and cougars, and in the Alps the only animal that might attack you would be a sheep, or at worst a rabid squirrel. Europeans killed all their wildlife a long time ago.

But Geneva appears to have no soul. It has lots of watches, banks, and clean air, but no soul.

So what happened? I have a theory that Geneva sold its soul for neutrality and got very, very rich in the process. Geneva claimed neutrality during WW2 and then proceeded to hold Nazi assets - meaning they hid the Nazis' looted property in high-security vaults. Swiss banks issued credit to the Third Reich and Swiss companies participated in, and profited from, the military-industrial marriage that fuelled Germany's economic recovery after the Depression. The Nazi military-industrial complex was especially profitable because it used slave labour from the concentration camps. In a sick twist of history, a Swiss company also designed the gas spigots disguised as shower heads that played the lead role in murdering those same prisoners. Today Swiss banks hold the assets of warlords and dictators just as bloodthirsty, kleptomaniacal and sociopathic as ever Hitler was, no questions asked, utter discretion guaranteed. I think the city lost its soul when it stopped asking questions.

Another theory is that a city whose population is 40% financiers never had a soul. One thing's for sure, the Genèvois are fairly cold and they run like clockwork - they look down on you if you're five minutes late. It's so different from West Africa, where people are generally warm, welcoming, and at least half an hour late for everything.

I'm sorry if you're of Swiss descent and you think that I'm spouting out opinions without actually knowing or living in Geneva. The thing is I didn't get to know any Swiss people who could have balanced my views because they're rather insular and xenophobic. My friend, who is laid back and friendly, has lived here for 6 months and all the friends he's made are expats.

So Geneva is a quiet little town amidst beautiful scenery. There's great hiking and boating around the lake, and no perceivable social inequities. I loved looking out at Montblanc every morning, walking the lakeshore, and eating fondue. It is a city with lots of clean air and dirty money, and if you like Stepford-esque perfection then it's the place for you.